Isn’t it weird that the president of a jungle turns out to be a bush?!
However, being one of the ‘beneficiaries’ of imperialism, I do not take the responsibility of the truth behind what I am going to narrate next. Certain facts have been purposefully twisted for the sake of national (read: personal) security.
At that time, it was “Simon Go Back” and now 1st March 2006 reeks “Bush Go Back!” And since when did our college group ever fall behind in community service? Thus, they decided to burn the effigy of honourable Mr. George W. Bush.
All set but nothing done. Arun (name not original) paid the would-be-leader, Aveek, (name not original) to get some straw for the construction of the framework.
“And the money to buy it?”
“Take it from the group’s fund!”
The straw was b(r)ought, and the duplicate was constructed. Quite identical I must say. With a grave deal of concern, someone enquired “the bermudas on the effigy looks familiar. Aveek, where did you get them from?”
“Err from Soumen’s mess.”
“Hey! That’s mine! How can you take my only set of bermudas?”
“Sorry. I mean… I will surely arrange for a replacement… later.”
A crowd gathered, slogans were hurled and the torch was lit. The left hind leg of the duplicate was set on fire… errr… “why isn’t the flame getting on to the straw?” Even I forwarded a curious look.
“Aveek, where did you get the straws from?”
“Err… from the nearby stable.”
“What? These straws are all wet!”
“And the money you took?”
“Ammm… cold drinks.”
Solution? Kerosene. Off went Vijay (name not original) to fetch a bottle of white-kerosene from the common room. In less than a minute the kerosene arrived and was sprayed on the effigy. The ignition key was pressed again and… “hey this is water, not kerosene!” The think-tanks began to rattle again.
Solution? Sun. Someone suggested that we leave the effigy to dry in the sun. All said again and a hole was dug on the college grounds and the effigy was hung from a bamboo pole.
The nearest window to the poor little effigy was that of the Principal.
“Sir, this is Bush.”
“What? It looks like straw to me.”
“Sir, I mean Mr. George Bush.”
“Oh! You should do something to identify him as Mr. Bush.”
Can someone please give the think-tanks a break? Off went Abhijeet (name not original) to fetch some paper cuttings. By now, most of us had dispersed off to our classes, except a few of the likes of me. Nevertheless, how can one miss such a show!
“Sir is it ok now?”
“Well… whom are you burning by the way?”
“Sir, I had said earlier. George Bush.”
“Then what’s Tony Blair’s picture doing on it?”
Enough! I am going back to my class. Please do inform me of what happens next.
I returned after an hour, only to find that the show was over. Oh at last! I even came to know that people from the YukTV had come to cover the issue. Suddenly some people went up to Arun and grumbled, “Did you invite us here for all these insults?” With a bit more of research, I unearthed that they were from YukTV. Principal had by mistake ordered them to clean up the grounds for all the mess that the college group had done.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen